Culmination
by KnightcrawlerLR
Summary: Nat and Nick take an introspective look at their relationship. Comments and critiques both welcome and encouraged.
1. Chapter 1

**The following characters don't belong to me, I'm just borrowing them with thanks to Sony Pictures and Mr. Parriott et al. I wrote this years ago, under my name and think you might enjoy it. Comments are welcome and appreciated.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 1**

**The Drive**

**She left behind her acquaintances and entered her vehicle. The engine started with a roar. **

**Why? Why is she doing this to herself? You know where he is.**

**The insistent beep from her dash drew her attention. **

**Feed me!**

**The gas indicator was announcing its level.**

**I Need To Feed!**

**She pulled into the service centre. The attendant enclosed in glass. Offering no services with the exception of relieving her of her hard earned money.**

**She pulled the pump from its retainer, flipped the lever, and delivered the meal to the ever-consuming vehicle before her.**

**An endless cycle. In exchange for a service, a price was to be paid.**

**How true.**

**The clerk took the offering with dull lifeless eyes.**

**Returning to the car, she mulled her possibilities. **

**I can go home, take a bath, relax. But that wouldn't settle the thoughts traveling within her brain.**

**I could go and have a drink. That would settle my nerves. **

**Yes, It might. But you would end up thinking about him. Then where would you be?**

**It's not like that!**

**So you say. You can't deny how you feel.**

**I'm not denying anything. I'm not admitting anything either.**

**Liar!**

**Leave me alone!**

**She kept the key turned a little longer then necessary. The shocking screech of the starter's continuous grind broke her from the momentary stasis.**

**The shift moved easily into gear.**

**Keep that up and the price you end up paying could break you.**

**Oh shut up!**

**The movement of the vehicle created a soothing balm. Relaxing the muscles that were made taut and painful from the rigors of work.**

**The bath may be a place to think, but a ride definitely had its advantages.**

**The conscious part of her brain took the backseat as she made her way through town. The stop signs and traffic lights were of no major concern. The path she followed had no discernable destination.**

**The hand moved, the arm responded, the vehicle did as commanded.**

**Why? **

**Why did she continue to let herself be treated in this manner?**

**There was so much that she could do otherwise. Her life was an open book that had yet to be completed. The possibilities were endless. The future has yet to be written.**

**She had thought about leaving. Instead she took a short vacation. When she left, with no destination in mind, the only thought she had was to see what else there was available.**

**Frightening.**

**In the first twenty-four hours, the thought kept coming back.**

**What am I doing! Over and over.**

**She lost count after twenty times.**

**Why am I doing this?**

**I should just turn back. Go home and curl up with a good book. I shouldn't be here.**

**She didn't.**

**She called into work and made up a lame excuse to delay her return.**

**After several days, the self-doubt ended. In it's place, a peaceful acceptance. **

**She drove on.**

**The light before her was red. **

**Stop!**

**Stop this right now!**

**I can't.**

**Suit yourself.**

**The light changed color. It was time to go.**

**Thought eluded her. **

**Her hand moved, the arm swung. The vehicle responded.**

**She pulled up to the overhead door and stopped. **

**A glance through the windshield confirmed her deepest wish.**

**He's there.**

**What are you doing?**

**What I should have done a long time ago.**

**Are you prepared to accept the consequences?**

**Yes!**

**Are you sure?**

**I found out what he is.**

**I accepted his being and offered to help.**

**I fell in love with him.**

**She entered the security code.**

**You love him, but does he love you?**

**Yes.**

**Why are you so sure? He never said so.**

**Because I have faith.**

**Faith. That's for the uncertain. Those who doubt themselves.**

**No!**

**Can you truly believe that this will work out for the best?**

**Yes.**

**Why?**

**Because I love him. And faith is more tangible than anything else in the world is. I have faith in him.**

**The door opened and she left the self-doubts behind in the lift.**

"**Nick? There's some thing I have to tell you."**

**End Chapter 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 2**

**The Announcement**

"**Nat?"**

**He stood beside the couch, casually dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. One hand negligently stuffed inside his pocket.**

"**There's some things I have to tell you. It's very important to me and it's going to be a bit difficult to get out so before I begin I don't want you to speak. Just hear me out first OK?"**

"**Sure Nat, but what's this all about?"**

"**I'll explain everything…just let me finish first."**

**She walked passed him and deliberately took the leather chair that angled off to the side of the sofa.**

**I can't be too close; I'll lose my nerve.**

**What do you care, you've already lost your mind.**

**Stop it!**

**He sat at the furthest end of the couch, nestled himself in the corner, and waited for her to begin.**

**Well you've got his attention, tell him.**

**She clasped her hands, twining the fingers together.**

**Where do I begin?**

**At the beginning.**

**She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her eyes locked on her hands. The grip was so tight that the knuckles appeared white. The contrast made starker by the blood outlining the bones.**

**Well it's now or never.**

"**I've been thinking a lot lately."**

**That's an understatement.**

"**And I need to know where we stand. Don't answer yet. Let me finish."**

**That's it, you know your own mind, tell him.**

"**I…How do I put this…" She mumbled under her breath.**

**Just say it!**

"**We've known each other for what…six years. And in that time we've come to know each other pretty well, under the circumstances. In that time, many changes have occurred in both your life and mine. I mean…Hell you awoke on my table…I thought you were dead…I…"**

**She paused a moment, gathering her thoughts.**

**Not as easy as you expected it is it?**

**No.**

"**No you weren't." She risked a quick glance in his direction. The visage before her remained unchanged.**

"**You tried to hypnotize me. Make me forget." A small chuckle escaped her, the ridiculousness of it all finally coming to her.**

**Yeah, fat chance!**

**What do you know?**

"**From that time till now, I've always been there for you. I've covered for you and the community. I've tried to help you whenever I could. I'm not sure why."**

**To save your life. If you didn't help, you'd be considered a threat.**

**He'd never hurt me!**

**Maybe not him, but perhaps someone else.**

"**At least I wasn't sure at the time. I mean…" She shook her head. The attention she gave the floor was unparalleled. " I did that to help you."**

**Really?**

**Yes!**

**You're sure?**

**Yes…I mean…**

**Why did you…Really?**

" **I did that because I…"**

**Yes, go on say it.**

"**I…"**

**SAY IT!**

"**I…I love you, and I didn't want you hurt. I didn't want you to leave…I didn't want…"She risked a glance up…**

**He started to rise. The look on his face was…Confusion, Understanding…Anger? **

**Oh God he's mad at me!**

**You brought this upon yourself.**

"**No! Please, let me finish."**

**You made your bed, now you'll sleep alone for sure.**

**No! I can't go on like this.**

**It's too late. Just finish it.**

"**I tried to stop myself. Tried to just remain friends."**

**OK, how are you going to work your way out of this one?**

**Again he started to rise. At the first sign, she brought her hand up, the palm forced outward. NO!**

**She watched him ease himself back into sitting position. His left hand ran through his hair. His right gripped the leather. The material spewed forth a sound of rebuke. She returned her gaze to her hands.**

"**But somewhere along the way, it happened."**

**Boy did it ever.**

"**I found myself thinking about you more often than I should've. Every time I saw you with another woman I'd feel jealous." A movement shook her chest. A cross between a sob and a chuckle. She shook head from side to side.**

"**I know I had no right to. We were JUST friends."**

**Yeah, but you wanted more. Still want more.**

"**Yes, I want more. I NEED more. I need to know if what I feel for you is strictly one-sided. If I'm only to be considered a friend, and nothing more. I can't go on like this…I just can't. I'm at a crossroads here and I have to know which path I'm going to take."**

**Well, you did it. Now what?**

**She took a deep breath and lifted her head slowly. Her eyes studied him from the floor up. **

**When she reached his face, she closed her eyes.**

**Inside she started to cry.**

**What did you expect?**

**End Chapter 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 3**

**The Reaction**

**She opened her eyes, he hadn't said a word, hadn't moved an inch. He just stared at her. His jaw clenched, his brows drawn together, his eyes staring into her soul.**

**She couldn't look anymore. Her head dipped.**

**What have I done?**

**You can't take it back.**

**I know.**

**She listened to the friction of the leather.**

**Heard the tread of his shoes as he walked past her. The creak of the stairs leading to the second floor.**

**He doesn't love you.**

**You're just a friend.**

**Get on with your life.**

**She got up and left the loft. Taking the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator. It took too long.**

**By the time she got in her car and started the engine, the tears she cried inside her heart broke through. Slowly, one after another. **

**Her hand moved, the arm swung, the vehicle responded.**

**The sun started to rise. She took no notice.**

**She drove.**

**She was numb.**

**You have only yourself to blame.**

**I know.**

**You had Faith.**

**Yes**

**It didn't help.**

**I know.**

**The tears continued to roll down her cheeks.**

**What am I going to do now?**

**Start over.**

**It wasn't supposed to be like this.**

**You knew it was a possibility.**

**I really didn't think it would happen.**

**But it did. And now you have to move on.**

**Move on. **

**Yes.**

**Her hand moved, the arm swung, the vehicle responded.**

**The sun rose higher, traffic increased. She took no notice.**

**She drove.**

**She was numb.**

**The streets fell behind her. The city fell behind her. Small towns fell behind her. **

**Her tears stopped. She took no notice.**

**The fuel gauge cried for attention.**

**I just filled you!**

**I Need To Feed!**

**My God, where am I?**

**You're on the 401.**

**No kidding.**

**The approaching sign displayed the answer to her location. Sort of.**

**Marysville 33 2 Km**

**She yawned.**

**You've been driving for hours. Get some gas, and then get some sleep.**

**She yawned again.**

**Yeah, I'm exhausted.**

**She drove up the exit, pulled into the conveniently located gas station and had the eager teen fill the tank.**

**When she finished paying, she asked, "Is there a motel nearby?"**

"**Down the road a ways."**

"**Thanks."**

**She headed in the direction he pointed.**

**As soon as she checked in and entered her room, she removed her clothes, folded them neatly, and crawled into bed.**

**There were no thoughts, no dreams, just sleep.**

**The first thing she noticed was the feel of the sheets.**

**Did I forget the fabric softener?**

**She opened her eyes, darkness greeted her.**

**Where am I?**

**A sliver of light invaded her realm, beckoning her towards the source.**

**A window, heavy drapes.**

**The light vanished then quickly reappeared. Expanding like bellows, brighter, darker, brighter, and darker.**

**She rubbed her eyes; they were sensitive to the touch, the skin extremely pliable.**

**Why?**

**She remembered.**

**Crying does that you know.**

**Don't remind me.**

**Too late.**

**She threw off the covers and dangled her legs over the edge of the bed.**

**Memories flooded her. The decision, the speech to Nick, his reaction and her response.**

**The hours of driving.**

**You mean the escape.**

**Yeah, I guess you could call it that.**

**Without a doubt. You're here, God only knows where or even how far away you really are.**

**Light years.**

**Well it's time to go home. You can't hide away forever.**

**She turned the bedside lamp on. A soft light put an end to the mystery of her location. On the nightstand was the motel's welcoming brochure "The New Day Is Dawning"**

**Cute**

**Hey it fits.**

**I guess it does.**

**Come on, you can't stay here forever, get going!**

**OK, OK, I'm going.**

**Once she showered, she felt better. Before leaving the bathroom, she checked her face in the mirror.**

**Not too bad.**

**A little make-up and no one will know the difference.**

**She looked again.**

**Except me.**

**She flipped on the TV as she dressed. The news was on.**

**Pulling on her shoes, she looked at the screen. The day and time was plastered on the bottom section of the screen. Stock prices cruised beneath the numbers. November 15, 9:01 AM.**

**Damn! I've been asleep for TWO days.**

**I got to work tonight! **

**Call in.**

**I can't, I have to get on with my life.**

**Are you ready?**

**I guess…**

**Well, leave that option open.**

**She stopped at the Main office, settled her bill and grabbed a coffee and Danish to go from small restaurant across the street.**

**She drove to the 401and headed west.**

**How am I going to get through this?**

**The first steps are always the hardest.**

**That's an understatement.**

**You'll be fine.**

**I hope so…**

**End Chapter3**


	4. Chapter 4

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 4**

**The Decision**

**He closed the door behind him and tossed his keys on his kitchen table.**

**Well that's it for a while.**

**Hey, you finally have some time off.**

**Time off? If I want time off, I'll take it. Who needs a vacation?**

**You do!**

**No I don't.**

**Yes! You do. If you don't take this time, they'll become suspicious. Who ever heard of a cop refusing time off. Besides you've worked almost three years straight with only three "sick" days off. And even then you weren't 'sick.'**

**And when I was shot?**

**One day! You were checking out the warehouse the next night. Leaving Natalie asleep on the couch. **

**Natalie**

**You had the perfect opportunity to push your relationship.**

**What do you mean, relationship, I took advantage of her. I didn't even know her.**

**She let you kiss her. Repeatedly.**

**I pushed it. I tried to seduce her and…**

**She enjoyed it, and wanted more.**

**No, she was just trying to help me, that's what friends do.**

**But she could be more than a friend could. Tell her how you feel.**

**I can't.**

**Yes, you can.**

**I don't want to hurt her.**

**You love her!**

**Yes.**

**Then tell her!**

**I can't, I can't have that kind of relationship.**

**You could if you tried.**

**No! It's too dangerous.**

**For who? **

**For her. If I forgot myself for one moment, lost control, I could kill her in an instant.**

**You wouldn't.**

**I might.**

**So what then? You're trying to become mortal again. Yet you stand on the sidelines, letting your fear dictate your life.**

**It's not like that at all.**

**That's exactly how it is. You have to take the next step if you're ever going to cross back. You have to have Faith.**

**But what if I'm doing this for naught? She's never given any indication that she feels anything for me other than friendship.**

**How can you be so sure? Have you ever asked her? How will she ever know unless you tell her how you feel?**

**OK, what if I do? What if I tell her how I feel and she's not interested? Or worse yet, she tells me that I'm just experiencing an infatuation with my doctor? If that happens she may end up distancing herself. Or tell me she can no longer help me.**

**She wouldn't do that.**

**She might. I couldn't bear that. **

**Now you're using that as an excuse.**

**If she rejected me, left me… There would be no reason for going on.**

**That's all the more reason for telling her!**

**I can't take that risk.**

**Oh, and you would do better if she continued to remain "friends", but went on, married someone else, and had the family that should be yours?**

**No…**

**Then stop hiding. It's time you made something of your existence. Build a future filled with promise. This is the opportunity you need to leave a legacy of hope. Tell Natalie how you truly feel and go on from there. She loves you too. All it takes is Faith. You have more of that then you give yourself credit for.**

**Nick rubbed his face with both hands, walked to the refrigerator and opened the door. Without a second thought, he pulled the pitcher containing his protein supplement out and went to the cupboard. He filled a tall glass and drank the mixture. **

**He could do this, he would tell her. She wouldn't leave him. He had Faith.**

**I'll tell her. Tonight.**

**Why wait?**

**Why indeed?**

**Nick picked up the handset, a quick glance at his watch verified the time, and she'll have been home for some time by now. He dialed her number.**

**The answering machine picked up. **

**Before he could leave a message, the lift engaged. **

**It was her.**

**End Chapter4**


	5. Chapter 5

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 5**

**The Shock**

**She's here.**

**You see, all things will come together.**

**Yes, and now is the time.**

**He took a moment to look at her and started to smile. The action was halted by her words.**

"**Nick? There's some thing I have to tell you."**

**His eyebrows went up in question. "Nat?" He watched her slow approach.**

"**There's some things I have to tell you. It's very important to me and it's going to be a bit difficult to get out so before I begin I don't want you to speak. Just hear me out first OK?"**

"**Sure Nat, but what's this all about?" His stomach started to tighten.**

"**I'll explain everything…just let me finish first."**

**His eyes followed her as she made a wide circuit and passed him to sit on the chair to the side of the couch.**

**Something's very wrong.**

**You don't know that. Let her speak.**

**For a second he made to sit close to her but thought against it. She had purposefully kept her distance. **

**All right I'll give her room.**

**He sat in the corner of the couch. Sinking comfortably into the soft leather. She was a mere eight feet away, but it seemed like a mile. **

**It's bad news.**

**Not necessarily.**

**You can see it written on her face. She's giving up on me. **

**Nick watched as she collected her thoughts; the actions she displayed worried him. Her head was bowed, her hands held tightly together. A long sigh.**

"**I've been thinking a lot lately and I need to know where we stand. Don't answer yet. Let me finish. I… How do I put this…" Her voice trailed off**

**Uh oh!**

**I knew it!**

"**We've known each other for what…six years. And in that time we've come to know each other pretty well, under the circumstances. In that time, many changes have occurred in both your life and mine. I mean…Hell you awoke on my table… I thought you were dead…I…"**

**He took his hands from his lap. Placed one on the arm and the other on the back of the couch.**

"**No you weren't."**

**She looked up. He met her gaze but she returned her attention to the floor.**

"**You tried to hypnotize me. Make me forget." **

**Is she laughing?**

**Wait.**

"**From that time till now, I've always been there for you. I've covered for you and the community. I've tried to help you whenever I could. I'm not sure why."**

**Here it comes. She's leaving.**

**Wait!**

**I can't listen to this.**

"**At least I wasn't sure at the time. I mean…" She shook her head several times but refused to look at him. "I did that to help you. I did that because I…"**

**Oh Nat, I'm so sorry.**

"**I…"**

**She hesitated.**

"**I…I love you, and I didn't want you hurt. I didn't want you to leave…"**

**She loves you.**

**She loves me!**

"**I didn't want…"**

**He started to get up. To tell her how he felt. That she wasn't alone in her feelings**

**Natalie, I love you too. **

**I told you she loves you, you just needed Faith.**

"**No! Please let me finish."**

**He sat back down.**

**Those three beautiful words, 'I love you' filled him with such warmth that he thought he had died and gone to heaven.**

**No, It's better than that. Your 'Heaven' is sitting right before you.**

**Yes.**

"**I tried to stop myself. Tried to just remain friends."**

**Oh, if I had known.**

**Well I'm going to show you how I feel about you.**

**Again he started to rise but was stopped by her raised palm.**

**His right hand gripped the couch's arm, causing a groan of protest.**

**He ran his left hand through his hair.**

"**But somewhere along the way, it happened. I found myself thinking about you more often then I should've."**

**And I you.**

"**Every time I saw you with another woman, I'd feel jealous. I know I had no right to. We were JUST friends."**

**He watched her shake her head. A sob escaped her. His heart ached at her admission. **

**I didn't know.**

**His expression became grim.**

**How could I have missed that? Oh Natalie, I never meant…**

**That's because you were afraid. While you were trying to protect her, you were actually hurting her.**

**I didn't know.**

"**Yes, I want more."**

**He missed what she said. Too busy chastising himself.**

"**I NEED more. I need to know if what I feel for you is strictly one-sided. If I'm only to be considered a friend and nothing more."**

**You are so much more, my love, my life, my soul.**

"**I can't go on like this…I just can't. I'm at a crossroads here and I have to know which path I'm going to take."**

**I don't care what path you take as long as you let me walk it with you. **

**I've been a fool.**

**At his acknowledgement of his own stupidity, Nick got up, walked upstairs and went to the closet. He removed several boxes before he found the one he wanted. The lid had dust marks from the former occupants on the surface. He hadn't opened this in a long time. Inside, various articles were lifted up or pushed aside in his quest. **

**There you are!**

**He lifted a small leather pouch, gently untied the strap holding it closed, and emptied the single item inside into the palm of his hand. **

**He enclosed it securely within his fingers. The feel of it and the meaning behind it brought forth a peace inside his soul.**

**His eyes closed.**

**Its quiet.**

**Too quiet!**

**A car door slammed shut.**

**Nick left his bedroom.**

**An engine started.**

"**Natalie?"**

**She's gone!**

**Why?**

**Go after her!**

**He raced down the stairs. The stairway door didn't want to open.**

**I was ripped from its hinges.**

**Wait!**

**The car pulled away.**

**Please! Don't leave!**

**The outside door followed its inner companion.**

**Don't leave me!**

**The sun stopped him.**

**The taillights turned the corner.**

"**NATALIE!"**

**End Chapter 5**


	6. Chapter 6

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 6**

**The Wait**

"**Come back!…Please!"**

**You blew it.**

**Why did she leave?**

**Why do you think?**

**She said she loves me.**

**She does.**

**Then why?**

**Think about it. She came here, professed her love for you, wanted your response and what did you do?**

**What do you mean?**

**You walked away from her when she needed you most.**

**I went to get the ring.**

**She didn't know that. To her it appeared that you turned your back on her. She took it the only way she could.**

**She believes I don't care.**

**Now you're catching on.**

**She thinks I don't love her. That maybe I was just using her for my own selfish gains.**

**Exactly! **

**Oh God! What have I done?**

**It's not what you've done, you know that already. It's what you're going to do.**

**I've got to tell her. Before it's too late!**

**Yes.**

**But how. I can't go after her. The sun is up.**

**Try the phone.**

**Oh, yeah.**

**His fingers flew over the keypad, but like his earlier attempt, the response he received was automated.**

"**Hi, you've reached Natalie Lambert…"**

**If only it was true.**

"**I'm not available to take your call, so please, leave a message. If this is an emergency, you can reach me through my service at 555-1234. Bye"**

**Her voice was so cheerful.**

"**Uh, Nat…It's me. You left before I could…Please, call me as soon as you get home."**

**Coward. You should have told her.**

**I'm not going to say that over the phone. She deserves better.**

**Yeah, better than this morning.**

**Enough already.**

**He reset the phone and dialed again.**

"**This is Detective Knight with Metro Homicide. Yes she does…yes… have her call me as soon as possible. No, that will be fine."**

**All I can do now is wait.**

**Try the morgue.**

**She just got off work; she wouldn't be there.**

**If she is…?**

**He called her workplace.**

**Well, she isn't there. And to top it all off, she's got the next two days off.**

**Hey, that will give you both time to work things out.**

**Only if she calls me back.**

**If she doesn't, then go see her when the sun sets.**

**Nick walked around the room and turned off all the lights except for the one above his stove. The cold fluorescence casting shadows in various shades of gray.**

**He sat in the armchair that earlier held his life.**

**He stared at the phone, willing it to ring.**

**Call me Nat; don't leave me like this. **

**For the sixth time that day, the voice on the machine mocked him.**

"**Natalie I'm worried, if you never want to see me again, I understand, but please, let me know you're alright."**

**He replaced the phone and hung his head.**

**She won't even answer the phone. **

**Then take the initiative. The sun's going down. Go to her.**

**She won't see me.**

**Then SEE her. You never let something as trivial as a door stop you.**

**I won't force her.**

**Who's talking about force? She loves you and you her. Just explain it to her. It'll work out. You'll see.**

**I don't know.**

**Have Faith.**

**The shutters opened as the sensors measured the available light.**

**Go!**

**He did.**

**Nick drove the Caddy. The last vestiges of daylight still made an occasional appearance. Flying would have been too dangerous.**

**The trip was automatic, his thoughts centered on Natalie.**

**His hand moved, the arm swung, the vehicle responded.**

**The windows of her apartment were dark. **

**That's not a good sign. **

**She could be asleep.**

**I don't know.**

**Well, find out.**

**He pulled into the parking lot in the back of the building.**

**She's not here; the car's gone.**

**She probably went to the store. Go in and wait for her.**

**I should leave.**

**You can't run away. You've done that too many times. You have to see this through. For her sake and yours.**

**For her sake.**

**When he arrived at her door, he took a moment to collect his thoughts. **

**He knocked. **

**He listened.**

**No answer.**

**Again he knocked.**

**A sound.**

**A soft meow, and the padding of Sidney's feet.**

**He removed his keys and opened the door. **

**The blinds were open allowing some light to enter.**

**Before he could even turn on the lights, Sidney was pressing his head against his legs.**

"**Yeah, you can see in the dark too, can't you boy?"**

**Nonetheless, he flipped the switch.**

**Sidney trotted to the entrance of the kitchen.**

"**Meow?" His eye closed then opened. Clearly an invitation.**

"**What's wrong boy?"**

**As Nick approached, Sidney proceeded into the room.**

**He pulled the cord for the overhead light.**

**Sidney was by his empty food dish, a pleading look in his eyes.**

**The large water bowl still had plenty in it.**

**She hasn't been home.**

**Now I'm really worried.**

**Don't panic. Calm down. There's a reasonable explanation.**

**Like what.**

**I don't know.**

**She wouldn't leave her cat like this.**

**He's got plenty of water, and from the size of him, he could skip a meal or two.**

**Where could she be?**

**As Nick pondered that question, he filled Sidney's dish with dry food, gave him fresh water, and as an afterthought, searched through the cupboard and retrieved a can of tuna. **

**When the unexpected bounty was placed before him, Sidney immediately dug in. Little squeaks escaped him as he happily consumed the fish.**

**One problem solved. As for the other…**

**I should call the precinct. Report her missing.**

**You can't, she hasn't been gone long enough. Besides, what are you going to tell them? 'I didn't tell her I love her and she took off on me?'**

**I can check the hospitals.**

**You're overreacting again. She's fine. She probably just had to get away, take some time to think. She'll be back. She wouldn't leave her cat.**

**Nick let out a small chuckle.**

**Yeah…so what do I do now?**

**Get something to eat. It wouldn't do for you to snack on her when she does come home.**

**I guess that wouldn't be a bad idea.**

**He suddenly realized he hadn't had any blood since last night when he went to work. Just the protein drink. **

**Thinking about that brought a smile to his lips.**

**I've been so worried, I hadn't really noticed.**

**If it's working, keep it up. But make sure you have some bottles handy just in case.**

**He did just that. **

**Flying home in the now black sky, he gathered his needed supplies and returned to her apartment.**

**He drank the shake and refilled the glass with blood as a precaution. Sipping the liquid as he walked through the rooms.**

**His mind wandered back to the times they had been together as he viewed the evidence of their history. Every once in a while he came across an item that would make him smile. Other times his heart would tighten. **

**I didn't realize what I did.**

**You never knew how she felt.**

**I'm a detective; I should have recognized the clues.**

**It wasn't that obvious. Besides you know now. Things are going to be different. **

**I hope so…**

**Nick took a book off the shelf and sat in the living room. As he started to read, Sidney jumped onto his lap, settled down and awaited his mistresses' return with the man who so thoughtfully fed him.**

**The sun rose.**

**The blinds were closed.**

**He covered the windows with a blanket.**

**The rooms were comfortably darkened.**

**He didn't sleep.**

**She didn't come home.**

**The sun set.**

**Sidney was fed.**

**He consumed one bottle of blood and the rest of the protein mix.**

**He didn't sleep.**

**She didn't come home.**

**Dawn approached.**

**He drank another bottle.**

**He didn't sleep.**

**She didn't come home.**

**He called the hospitals.**

**She wasn't there.**

**A minor relief.**

**He called the morgue.**

**No one had seen her.**

**She was due in tonight.**

**He called the precinct.**

**She hadn't been there.**

**Aren't you on vacation?**

**If she doesn't show by tonight, report her missing.**

**If something's happened to her, I'll…**

**Have Faith.**

**Right now that's all I have.**

**He continued to pace the floor. Back and forth through the living room and kitchen. **

**Exhaustion was taking its toll. He finally entered her bedroom. There was no sun coming through the windows. Since she also slept days, the room was shielded with a thick roll-down shade and heavy drapes.**

**Nick sat on her bed and hugged her pillow to his chest. Her scent still clung to the fibers. He inhaled deeply. Her image flooded his mind.**

"**Please come back to me Nat…Please."**

**He buried his face in her pillow and curled up on the bed.**

**Please…**

**Silence answered him.**

**Sleep claimed him.**

**A solitary liquid crystal dropped to the bedding below.**

**End Chapter 6**


	7. Chapter 7

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 7**

**The Arrival**

**Natalie yawned as the Toronto skyline came into view.**

**Finally.**

**I'm exhausted. **

**You haven't driven like this in years. What did you expect?**

**I didn't expect anything like this.**

**Oh well. What are you going to do tonight?**

**I guess I'll call in.**

**Good idea.**

**She yawned again.**

**I can't wait to get home. I'll call in, take care of Sid, and grab a bite to eat, than a long soak.**

**At the thought of food, her stomach grumbled in response.**

**You haven't eaten since this morning. Grab something on the way home.**

**I can't, I need gas and my funds are low. This excursion cost me a fair amount.**

**It's not like you're poor.**

**I don't need my finances messed with right now.**

**Why not? You're making a new start. Cash in a CD*, treat yourself to some new clothes. Go out, meet someone, and get on with your life!**

**I should, shouldn't I?**

**Damn straight!**

**OK I will, but starting tomorrow. Right now I'm just too tired. And I can live off a frozen dinner for now.**

**Wimp!**

**Tired wimp.**

**All right, tomorrow.**

**She stopped for gas on the way and it was with a sigh of relief that she finally arrived home.**

**Looking forward to her tub, she wearily climbed her stairs and entered her apartment. It never dawned on her that the room was dark as she walked in and flipped on the light. Sidney rushed to greet her. Twining himself between her legs. She picked him up and entered the kitchen intent on feeding him. The sight of several remaining pieces of kibble puzzled her.**

"**Not hungry Sid?"**

**He could be sick.**

**She looked at his eyes. Nice and clear.**

**Sid decided to yawn and she took the opportunity to check his teeth and gums.**

**Everything fine on this end.**

**Maybe he picked up on you're feelings?**

**That's not possible.**

**Sure it is, a lot of pets are so in tune with their owners that they react the same way.**

**Sidney so upset by me that he doesn't eat? I don't buy it.**

**You have a better explanation?**

**Noooo. **

**She fed her pet, relieved that he dug into the canned cat food. **

**Now that he's done, it's my turn.**

**What shall it be tonight?**

**She opened the freezer door and perused the contents; an assortment of frozen dinners, juice, and a frost encrusted chicken.**

**Chicken ala King, Salisbury Steak or Shrimp Chow Mien.**

**Opting for the latter, she grabbed the package, popped it into the microwave, and opened a bottle of White Zinfandel.**

**She filled a glass, drank the contents and after refilling the glass, walked to the bathroom. Kicking off her shoes in the process. The bathtub quickly filled. The steam carrying the scent of honeysuckle from the liberal amount of bath oil she added. As she turned off the taps, the ring she heard announced that her meal was ready.**

**Her stomach rumbled at the thought of food, but she took a minute to call into work.**

"**Hi, it's Natalie Lambert. Yes that's right, no I won't be in tonight. Excuse me? No I didn't. All right, I'll take care of it. Yes, I have his number. Thank you. Bye."**

**Nick.**

**Why? He made himself perfectly clear the other day.**

**He may be trying to apologize.**

**More likely he's afraid I'll stop looking for a cure.**

**Will you?**

**No.**

**Why bother?**

**I promised him.**

**And look what it got you.**

**I know, but that was my fault. I'm the one who fell in love with him. I presumed too much.**

**And he made sure you understood the way he felt about you. He just walked away. You should do the same. Put him out of your life.**

**That's pretty hard to do considering I have to work with him.**

**Switch to days then. It's the perfect time too. A new start. Normal hours. A chance to meet someone whom just knowing him isn't going to endanger your life.**

**What about Roger? **

**You can't judge the entire male population on one man.**

**If Nick hadn't arrived…**

**There you go again, bringing Nick into the equation. Remember that he's no longer in the picture. He's history. He no longer has a place on your agenda.**

**The least I should do is call him. Find out why he called.**

**And go through all this again?**

**It's the right thing to do.**

**For who?**

**For him…and for me. If I'm to move forward, I can't have him dragging me down now can I?**

**You have a point there.**

**But first, I'm starved.**

**She finished her wine, retrieved and ate her meal, consuming another glass in the process, then called the station.**

"**Hi Claire, its Natalie Lambert, is Nick Knight in? No? No I didn't. No, it's all right; I'll reach him at his place. Oh, I just went to visit some friends. No, I didn't. OK I'll make sure I do. Yeah, see you around."**

**She closed the connection, but immediately reset the phone and dialed the loft.**

"**Yeah, Nick Knight, I'm either in bed or incommunicado, don't take it personally."**

**Pick up.**

**He won't.**

**Beep.**

"**It's Natalie, I hear you've been trying to reach me. It's 4:00PM. I'm home and you can reach me here."**

**He's not home.**

**He's probably asleep.**

**Either that or he's with someone else.**

**Well if he is…It's not my concern anymore, is it?**

**Natalie poured the last of the wine into her glass and then headed for the bath. She set the glass on the ledge, quickly divested herself of her clothing and sank into the steaming depths. Her muscles protested at first, but soon allowed the heat to sink in. That and the wine relaxed her, as she hadn't been in weeks. She luxuriated in the scented water, occasionally sipping from her glass. The alcohol muddled her thoughts. She didn't care. She stayed in the tub until the water cooled to the point where she became chilled. She hit the drainswitch with her toe and reluctantly rose, turned on the shower and warmed herself under its pulsing spray.**

**I feel like I could sleep for a week.**

**You slept for two days, get over it already.**

**Just one more night.**

**OK but after this, real life takes precedence.**

**Agreed.**

**She killed the water, wrung out the excess water from her hair, pulled on her bathrobe and wrapped her tresses in a towel.**

**She stepped to the sink and brushed her teeth.**

**You should dry your hair before you go to sleep.**

**I'm too tired.**

**It'll look like a rat's nest in the morning.**

**I don't care.**

**Dry it with the towel and brush it out. At least it will be manageable in the morning.**

**She did just that. Leaning over, much against the protest of her back, she thoroughly toweled her hair, worked the brush through the errant waves and gave herself a grin as she turned off the lights in the bathroom, the kitchen and living room and walked by remote into her bedroom towards her bed. She knew the routine. Lights weren't necessary.**

**End Chapter 7**


	8. Chapter 8

**See disclaimers in chapter 1. Commentaries welcome.**

**Culmination**

**Chapter 8**

**The Confrontation**

**Her knee brushed against the corner of the bed, jostling the mattress. Her balance was thrown off and she staggered against the side. Unable to recover in time, she fell forward expecting to land on the soft comforter. Instead the collision she encountered elicited a scream from her.**

**Why didn't you tell her?**

**I tried!**

**She's left you. She won't be back.**

**She has to come back!**

**She's gone forever.**

**No! I won't let her leave.**

**You can't stop her.**

**I have to… I have to tell her that I love her.**

**She's gone…**

**No!**

"**Natalie!"**

**The word he vocalized as he woke was overcome by a shriek of terror.**

**Someone pushed away from him. His senses were slow in recovering from sleep. Instinct for survival took command. His eyes glowed red. His fangs appeared in a snarl. He focused on the fear emanating from a short distance away.**

**The rapidly beating heart.**

**The blood flowing through the veins.**

**The BLOOD.**

**The FEAR.**

**The ECSTASY.**

**The shadow moved and he reacted without conscious thought. He flung himself towards the retreating form. **

**Someone was in here… in her bed! She thrust herself off the bed and raced to the door.**

**Too late!**

**Arms were around her. Her escape halted inches from the door. She struggled in vein as the arms tightened even more. When the snarl reached her ears, she knew she was dead.**

**They've come to kill me.**

**At that realization, she ceased her struggle. **

"**No…Please…"**

**His prey was captured but still struggling. He growled at the resistance and tightened his arms. The body stilled.**

"**No…Please…"**

**At the sound of that softly spoken entreaty, his senses cleared.**

**She was in his arms!**

"**Nat?"**

**You almost killed her!**

**He loosened his grip but didn't release her. Instead he turned her to face him and assure her she was in no danger.**

"**Nick?" As she turned, she looked up to see the faint outline of his face. Now assured it was indeed he, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. Her head pressed his chest. The emotion she hid now spewing forth in great shuddering sobs. She felt his hands caress her back, his cheek resting against the top of her head.**

**You're safe now, Nicks here.**

**Safe…Nick's here…Nick.**

**She stiffened in his arms, then slowly withdrew her arms from their stranglehold. Pressed her hands to his chest and gently pushed, putting him at arms length. Without thought, she reached up and slapped him soundly across the cheek.**

"**You bastard!" she spat.**

**He looked down into her eyes. The darkness no longer a hindrance.**

**She's really here!**

**He felt her arms snake up his chest and twine themselves around his neck in a desperate plea for security.**

**When her head touched his chest, he released a breath he didn't realize he was holding.**

**The tremors he felt wrenched at his heart. His arms encircled her. His hands soothing her fears.**

**He pressed his cheek to her still damp hair.**

**He cherished her.**

**I would never hurt you.**

**When she released her hold and stepped back, he was puzzled.**

**Please, don't pull away.**

**When she hit him, he was dumbstruck.**

"**Natalie…I…I"**

"**What gives you the right to come here and scare ten years off my life?"**

"**I'm sorry…I was worried about you."**

"**How Dare You! You made it perfectly clear how you felt the other day and now you're trying to tell me you were WORRIED? Get Out!"**

"**But Nat..."**

**She pulled the door open and stalked into her living room, flipping on the wall switch on her way. She reached the front door and turned to verify that he followed.**

**How could he do something so callous?**

**He's trying to explain.**

**I don't care!**

**Won't you give him a chance?**

**Right now the only thing I'll give him is a stake!**

**She watched as he slowly made his way out of the bedroom. The sad look in his eyes tugged at her heart. She turned back to the door and opened it. She felt his presence at her back. His words were barely a whisper in her ear.**

"**Natalie, please."**

**She shut her eyes and shook her head. "Just…leave Nick."**

**She's furious.**

**Damn right she is.**

**I never meant to frighten her.**

**But you did.**

**He walked after her. The sudden brightness of the living room and her presence by the door, foreboding.**

**I have to explain.**

"**Natalie, please." **

**Let me stay.**

**Don't cast me from your light.**

"**Just…leave Nick."**

**Nick reluctantly walked into the hallway.**

**Natalie closed the door behind him.**

**What have you done?**

**I sent him away.**

**That much is obvious, why?**

**He had no right to do what he did. Especially after the other day!**

**Yeah, he walked away from you. After you bared your soul, he walked away.**

**She crossed her arms over her chest and hugged herself. An unconscious act that appeared she was trying to hold herself together.**

**But there he was, in your bedroom, in your bed!**

**He scared the hell out of me.**

**It was an accident, apparently he was asleep.**

**I had no idea it was Nick, and when he grabbed me and I heard that growl, I thought the Enforcers were here to kill me.**

**Why? They never bothered you before, why would they now? Besides, you're much too valuable an asset to them and the community. The bottom line is that he was here and you sent him away. Without letting him explain.**

**Why bother? I heard enough; he was worried, as a friend would be. I'm nothing more than that to him.**

**She made her way back to her bedroom, turning off the light on the way.**

**Are you so sure?**

**What do you mean?**

**You saw him, he hadn't changed his clothes since that day, he hasn't shaved, and there were even dark circles under his eyes. He wasn't just worried, he was worried sick!**

**She sat down on the bed, replaying the last image of him in her mind.**

**You're right.**

**I know.**

**But that doesn't change anything. I can't go on like this anymore…I have to get on with my life.**

**She laid back and when her head hit the pillow the scent almost overwhelmed her. **

**Nick.**

**Unbidden tears slipped from her eyes. She reached for a pillow and unknowingly mimicked Nick's actions of earlier in the day.**

**I can't believe you walked away!**

**What could I do? **

**You could have told her how you feel.**

**She didn't want me there.**

**She was angry!**

**She was terrified!**

**That was an accident.**

**It was my fault. I caused it.**

**Yes, you did. But that doesn't change the way you feel. You love her.**

**I know. With all that I am, I love her.**

**Then go back and tell her.**

**I can't. She won't see me. Not after this.**

**You have to try, if only to make her understand why you were there.**

**To scare her to death?**

**No! To salvage the rest of your existence. What is your life going to be like without her in it?**

**I have no life without her.**

**He left the apartment building and made his way towards his car. It was parked at the far end of the lot, and as he passed by Natalie's car, he stopped. A frost was slowly enveloping the vehicle. The trunk and roof were covered in the shimmering crystals. Only the hood valiantly repelled the encroaching cold. The frost would soon claim that too as the warmth was leached from the heart of the machine.**

**That's what's going to happen to you if you walk away from her.**

**I know, but there's nothing I can do about it. I've lost her.**

**You haven't lost her yet. There's still something that can be done.**

**What?**

**Go back to that apartment and tell her how you feel. Make her listen. Hold her down until she hears you out. Then if she still insists you leave, then you go. But not before she hears you out.**

**I couldn't.**

**You must! Or you'll end up dying inside.**

**He cast another look at the car hood. The cold was gaining the upper hand.**

**All right, I'll try.**

**NO! Don't try, DO!**

**He turned away from the car, and with determined steps, made his way back into the building.**

"**You HAVE to know Nat and come hell or high water, I'm GOING to tell you."**

**He knocked on the door.**

**No answer.**

"**Natalie, I know you're in there, open the door."**

"**Go away Nick"**

**Her voice was barely a whisper but he heard it just the same.**

**Not this time.**

**He retrieved his keys and let himself in. The apartment was dark but he didn't need any light. He purposely strode into her bedroom. Following the sound of her in drawn breath.**

**As he passed through the doorway, he saw her rise from the bed. He continued into the room, stood before her and took hold of her shoulders. Pausing just a second to look in her eyes, Nick whispered. "I love you Natalie." And bent his head down and kissed her. His mouth covered hers. His lips caressed hers, massaging them, imparting his feelings.**

**She turned her head away.**

**Not this time Nat, you're not pulling away from me.**

**His right arm left her shoulder to rest his hand against the back of her head. His forearm pressed her body against his.**

**He grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her head up and back.**

"**Not this time."**

**His lips swooped down, pressing against her forehead, he moved to her eyes, planting delicate kisses over each lid. He moved to her cheek then on to hers lips once again. When she tried to pull away, he held her rigid. Firming his hold and applying more pressure with his lips. She couldn't get enough air through her nostrils so she tried to draw breath through her mouth. When she parted her lips Nick took advantage of this and insinuated his tongue between her lips. Soft strokes within the warmth. **

**Her struggling ceased.**

**He slowly withdrew from her mouth and eased his hold on her but did not release her completely.**

"**I love you Natalie, please don't turn me away."**

**She didn't say a word, but just stood there panting; drawing in much needed oxygen. Her gaze never left the shadow of his face.**

"**Why are you doing this to me?**

"**Because I can't live without you. When you left the other day, it nearly tore me apart."**

"**Me? You're the one who walked away! I poured my heart out to you and you just up and left. You didn't even say a word."**

"**I didn't trust myself."**

"**I don't understand. Trust yourself to do what?"**

"**To tell you how I felt without making an ass out of myself."**

**With this statement, he hugged her a little tighter and kissed the top of her head. Nick let his hands slide down her arms, when he reached her hands he encompassed each with his own and pulled her to sit with him on the bed.**

"**For the longest time, I've wanted to tell you how I felt. When you came over the other day, I had decided to do just that." A wide grin crossed his face and a small chuckle escaped him.**

**Natalie pulled one hand away from Nick, reached behind and turned on her bedside lamp. Now she could read his features. The huge smile she saw drew a puzzled look from her. Upon seeing her brows drawn together, Nick continued. "I had made my decision to tell you, but you beat me to it. When you told me you to just listen, I did. I was frightened that you were going to tell me that you were giving up on me. That you didn't want to see me. Worse yet, I thought you were going to leave. Move on." Nick drew a deep breath and released it slowly. His left hand retrieved her loose one and he started to draw small circles on the backs of both with his thumbs. His eyes never left the task below him.**

"**I listened, fearing the worse, but when you told me you loved me, I couldn't believe it. You made me so happy. I wanted to take you in my arms then and tell you the same, but you stopped me, you had more to say so I let you continue."**

**Nick continued his ministrations to her hands as he brought his eyes up to meet hers. "When you finished, I felt that the only way to make you understand and believe that I felt the same way, was to give you a representation of my love. I went upstairs to get this." Nick released her hands and dug into the trouser pocket and pulled out the small leather pouch. **

**Natalie watched his fingers shake as he opened the small bag and emptied the contents into his hand. He enclosed the item in his fist before she could see what it was. He picked up her left hand and brought it to his lips for a soft reverent kiss. Then returned his gaze to her eyes. "When I came out, you were gone. I ran downstairs and saw you pulling away, I tried to follow but the sun was up, I couldn't reach you. I called out to you but you didn't hear me. It tore me apart. I had to tell you…to explain but you didn't answer your phone. I called your service, the morgue, and here, over and over again but there was no answer. As soon as the sun went down I drove over here. You weren't here either, just Sidney, so I waited. I was so afraid that you were gone for good. I couldn't bear that thought." He closed his eyes at the memory. When he finally opened them he continued. "I want you to know Natalie, that I love you. More than anything else in my entire existence and I never want to be parted from you, for if I were, I couldn't go on. You are the other half of my soul, tell me you'll be the other half of my life." He slipped the hidden item over her ring finger. "Marry me Nat, make me whole."**

**Natalie listened to his declaration. The emotions churning inside her, threatening to overwhelm her. When she looked down at her hand in his, they did just that. A large tear fell upon their hands. Others streamed down her face. Her hand clutched at his fingers and pulled his hand to her chest. She brought her other hand up to join it's twin then bowed her head and pressed her lips to his fingertips.**

"**Oh Nick, I've been such a fool. When you went upstairs, I thought you didn't care, I…I didn't know…I…"**

**She was drawn into his embrace. She felt his love for her in his gentle touch. His arm cradling her back, his hand, even entrapped in hers, caressed her still. She lifted her head and touched her lips to his. "I love you too, Nick." Her left hand lifted and traced the edge of his brow with her fingertips, the soft contour of his lips with her thumb. She watched him close his eyes and lean into her palm. She kissed him again, this time it was she who imparted her feelings in the action of her mouth. Her hand moved to the back of his head, the fingers enshrouded in the waves of gold, pulling him harder to her mouth, but he resisted. **

"**You still didn't answer my question, Nat. Will you marry me?"**

**She took a moment to study his face. In his eyes she saw just the slightest hint of worry that she would still reject him. She immediately put an end to his fears with a warm endearing smile. "Yes Nick, I will." She didn't have to encourage his actions any further as his lips met hers. Together they moved, each sharing, tasting and discovering the other.**

**They were together now. **

**Each making the other complete.**

**Finally knowing what it was to be whole.**

**The future awaited and they met it as one.**

**FIN**


End file.
